Like breadcrumbs on a trail…

Have you noticed that God loves to delight us with evidence of His goodness along the path?  It makes me think of breadcrumbs scattered to lead a little critter onward (like the Reece’s Pieces on ET).  Today He sent beautiful white snow, covering the landscape and reminding me that He has me covered as I venture out into a new season.  Following step by step is all He requires because He knows what is ahead and He is preparing the way.

Yesterday He put lots of breadcrumbs on my path as I spent a few hours at the school where I am about to teach.  He knew I was a bit concerned about being ready to teach at 7 am! So – not only is the arrival time a bit later than that, but I have first period as my preparation time.  My teaching won’t begin until 9. (whew!)  Another concern what the difficulty of taking over classes halfway through the year.  At this school, the classes are longer (90-min. blocks) so they are brand new each semester.  There will be challenges coming – I am anticipating a tough transition into this new career – but I’ll keep looking for the breadcrumbs and offer thanks for each one.

Are you struggling today?  Does it seem like your path contains too many twists and turns?  Let me encourage you with God’s Word: “He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10)  God’s testing is the same as that of a good teacher, not to shame or discourage but to show us how much we have learned!   He is leading you, step by step, leaving breadcrumbs to remind you that His goal is to draw you to Himself.  Don’t miss the everyday evidence of His love for you.

What breadcrumbs have been lovingly placed in  your path recently?

Which Way, Lord? Part 2

How wonderful it was to think and pray about Michael Hyatt’s quote from the previous blog post.  He said we all need to “rediscover our why” in order to find our way. Taking a sheet of paper, I wrote “My Why” at the top and began listing some obvious things about why I need a job:  ”I need to get a job to pay my bills”, “I need a job to begin a new season/a new career”, “I need to get moving!”

Upon deeper reflection I wrote, “The job may be my ministry or it may free me up for ministry or it may be a part of my ministry”.  Interesting… just how would the Lord weave together the job with my current ministry commitments?  One choice allowed a bit more time for that.  Yet the other could open new doors of ministry.

There were so many things to consider and I wanted to make the right choice. It was tempting to wait longer for more options – to find something “easier” – but after over a year I was down to two choices and both were teaching positions. The truth is, teaching can be exhausting!  And what about the need to rise so early for the commute?  I hesitantly wrote, “a more disciplined life style will be good” and “I can do this with God’s help”. Have you wrestled with the “pros” and “cons” of a decision like this?  I’m sure you have.  Sometimes the list is so lopsided the decision is clear, but other times the lists don’t help very much.

The picture that kept coming to mind was from James MacDonald a few years ago related to finding God’s will.  He said sometimes our choices are like cookies on a plate a mom offers to her child.  On the plate are different kinds of cookies and the mother doesn’t really care if the child chooses peanut butter or chocolate chip.  My plate was down to only two cookies and I knew the Lord would bless no matter which was ultimately chosen.

As I analyzed the two teaching options, I compared things like the commute, the daily schedule, the salary, the potential to remain active in my local church, etc. But then I wrote what ultimately made my choice clear. “The kids might need me in some way… even one”. I turned the paper over and expanded that thought – “It’s not about the salary, or the schedule, or the commute, or the staff, or the paperwork, or the location… it is about the kids – if even one needs me, that is enough reason to do it.”  Then I knew, God was calling me to the public school — not just to teach math, but to bring the love of Christ to those teens.  I can hardly wait!!  Oh — please pray that I will wake up early and be there on time!

Which Way, Lord??

Have you longed to hear from God regarding a decision or direction for your life?  Perhaps, like me, the answer has been illusive and the path unclear. I’ve been wrestling with a situation where the choice is not obvious – the consequences of the choice unknowable.  Yet, the way chosen will change everything. “Which way, Lord?  What is Your plan?”… silence.  

At this season of life I am seeking a new career.  The IT field has progressed beyond my skill level so employers are unwilling to bring me aboard.  For years I was content in my flexible, work-at-home job without the foresight to move beyond my comfort zone and master the newer technologies.  Well, hindsight is 20/20. The nearly 30-year job provided for my family and my needs and it was a gift from the Lord.  But it ended. And I was unprepared – unprepared for the current IT job market, unprepared for the reality that the job was really gone, and unprepared for the cyberspace world of job searching.To say that this past year has been difficult would be an understatement.  Rejection is never easy, but repeated rejection can be unbearable.

After some IT re-training and then re-certification in the field of education, I thought I had found my way… but now that two teaching possibilities exist, I find myself unsure and unable to choose.  Can I adjust to the rigors of teaching high school math?  Should I move away in order to embrace the offer from a Christian school or stay in the area and teach at a public school?  Will the low salary be enough to make ends meet?  How can ministry at my local church fit into the demanding schedule of a new teacher?  Should I reject both and continue to wait for an IT job?  Which way, Lord??  … no answer.  

A recent blog from Michael Hyatt grabbed my attention.  He says, “When I rediscovered my why, I found my way.”  He says we need to understand our internal motivation in order to accomplish our goals and move forward. Yes, that’s what I need to ponder.  Somehow the answer is wrapped up in the discovery of my “why”.  That is what will show me the way… the same is true for you.  Stay tuned for part two following some time and prayer… 

My Life and the Waiting Dumpster

In anticipation of having to sell the house and move for financial reasons, the massive cleanup has begun.  A dumpster was deposited over a week ago and my task is to let go of enough “stuff” to fill it before they pick it up to discard its contents.  The basement got cleared first and yesterday’s focus was the attic/3rd floor.  In truth, much was accomplished and for that I am grateful. My sons wandered in and out – helping for a time but then being drawn to other, more interesting things.  At the end of the day I was alone in the closet, sitting on a wooden (hard!) stool sorting through remnants of my life – choosing what to keep and what to trash.

About mid-way through the day I had a small meltdown.  The pile of tossed away memories was growing – in anticipation of being thrown from the 3rd floor window into the driveway and ending up in the dumpster (my sons came up with that – sounds like fun!).  I saw things that had been dear to me at one time, ready to go.  Tears began to silently fall as I looked at David and Danny and said, “That’s my life!”  The pile spurred so many memories of times past – a vivid display of things that weren’t worth keeping – not just the tattered holiday decorations, but a reminder of the sadness, rejection, disappointment, frustration, and unexpected outcomes.  The Lord helped me recognize more things needed to be invisibly moved to the pile and ultimately tossed into the waiting dumpster.

Throughout the day as the trash pile kept growing, I was delighted to occasionally find things worth keeping.  Early school papers, cards, and drawings from the kids (just kept a few!) – forgotten family photos – a $20 bill in a retreat savings envelope – the yellow baby sweater I personally knitted for my firstborn – some tiny dresses I made for Mindy when she was a baby – “Betty’s Bears” dressed lovingly by my mom – a message in an old autograph book from my dad who is now with the Lord. They were all reminders of a life full of love, activity, and ministry. Sure, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but I have never been alone and I have been learning many things along the way. It has been a process of gentle transformation at the hands of my Lord.

Because of Him I can release the excess and embrace the life lessons.  I can smile at the happy memories – pack away the treasures – anticipate the coming new season – release the pain – grow firm and ready to persevere once more.  Life truly is a journey. I’m glad for the dumpster – some things really do need to go!

What special things have you picked up along the way?  What are the things that will stay with you forever?

Top Five Things I’ve Learned Recently…

5. Resist the Urge to Assume… Even though I know I shouldn’t do it, I am apt to rush to conclusions and assume the worst in some situations. Can you relate?  My insecurities grow exponentially and threaten to suffocate!! Deep breaths – time – filling my mind with pleasant thoughts are a much healthier choice.  Today’s message in song about being safe in the unseen hand of God was like healing balm for my troubled spirit. And a short visit with a dear friend helped me gain perspective.

4.  People Really Do Care… One of the blessings of social media is the connection to friends near and far.  Comments from so many have brought such joy!!  When I think I’ve disguised my emotions quite well, I am often amazed at how easily my friends see through the fog.  Their replies, prayers and “likes” mean more than they know.

3.  The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow… When things get dreary, it helps to remember that a new day is coming!!  Often my low spirits on a lonely evening are completely removed and refreshed after a good night’s sleep.  Renewal is a wonderful blessing and it carries over to rough ‘seasons’ too.  A new day is coming!  There will be new joys ahead… new experiences… new challenges.  The fog will clear as we journey through the valleys.

2.  There is Joy in the Journey... Along with the underlying joy of belonging to Christ, there are many flashes of joy in any given day. Some are missed to be sure, but with practice, I’m embracing them more and more… grasping them tightly and treasuring them.  Some recent examples include the beauty of the horizon, the peanuts at Five Guys, a good laugh in the car with my son, enough money to pay the mortgage, a shoveled walkway, a surprise phone call from miles away. Treasures like these make the journey sweet.

1.   God Plan is Worth Waiting For… We know this is true, but there are times when God gives us a test to see if we really do believe it. News came today that I won’t be getting a job offer following a recent interview.  I wasn’t even sure if I wanted the job, but my pride got wounded when they didn’t want me.  In other areas of my life, God keeps reminding me to trust Him and wait.  He knows — He cares — He will provide exactly what is needed at exactly the right time.  I am clinging to that truth today.  Lord, I open my hands to release whatever needs to go and to receive whatever You want to send.  I am Yours and I trust You.

If you are discouraged, check out this link:

http://eblast.aacc.net/bi_011211.html

Hurray for the New Year!!

It isn’t here yet, but my anticipation is already building. 2010 has been such a difficult year and I am ready for a new beginning, aren’t you?  I’m planning to leave some painful things behind and move forward by God’s leading into green pastures.  I want to follow the Shepherd even more deliberately – to hear His voice more clearly – to be satisfied with His provision and tender care.

This was the year when I lost my job after over two decades — in 2011 I’m hoping to find not only a new job, but a new career — maybe even in ministry which would delight my soul.  This was the year the divorce was final — in 2011 I’m asking God to lead me to someone who will continue this journey with me.  In 2011 I will need to sell my house and find a new dwelling place.  Despite all the work, it will be healing and good.

The new year brings the hope of enjoying more times with my precious kids, developing existing friendships, reading more books, and playing more Sudoku!! I’m looking forward to a conference in September, some retreats in Feb. and March, and Dove Singers starting again next week.  I’ll be able to complete some writing projects, take more photos with my new camera, and watch my “baby” graduate from high school.  Bring it on, 2011– I’m ready!

Yet in truth, the pain of the past tries to invade my thoughts.  It whispers to me about all that might go wrong – all the expectations that might not be met, the bad news that might come, the struggles and financial strain, the long wait for some of my dreams… Do you wrestle with these conflicting thoughts as you anticipate a new year?

My strength and comfort comes from God’s Word in every year and every season of life.  I want Romans 12:2 to be my theme verses for 2011: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

As I say this to you, I’m taking hold of it myself too:  Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart (Col. 3:15); let Him be your Rock (Ps. 18:2); focus on the things that are eternal (2 Cor. 4:18); and allow His JOY to be your strength (Neh. 8:10).  It’s going to be a good year!! Let’s stay connected as we journey together…